Here I am again,
finding a recurring pattern of highs and lows,
nothing terrible,
no, not like it used to be.
My heart still soars at where I've perched now,
but there's still this sense of loss
currently searching for those empty nests
trying to piece together old parts of me
I don't desire the hollow sadness,
the crashing waves or despair when I couldn't breathe
the heavy weight on my chest like I would never lift myself from the bottom of the ocean
but I desire the self pride in my accomplishments
the small boastful animal that slept inside
cooing at those moments I felt amazed at what little talent I had
now I feel as though that animal has moved on
to a new home,
and what's left is a care-less beast who moans in apathy whenever I search for self acceptance
acceptance of self?
self congratulations to the God given talent that I've given up,
not given up,
lost
at a loss
resuscitating the boastful animal
beckoning it sweetly to return in a manner so I can comprehend it's worth
without the pits of loneliness
longing for the coos of admiration,
sighing in tunes that are not my own
vying for an ounce of my own heart, my own thoughts, my own sounds to return
I am humming another songbirds tale,
and it's not even a song I like
No comments:
Post a Comment